Hires Non-Puppet Employee but notices odd problem New Hire Has Tongue Stuck in Funny but Treatable Way

Madison, WI: October 6, 2009

After a long period of the press release office being on hiatus pending review of its policies, methods and general integrity, is pleased to announce the hire of its latest employee: Mattie the Schnauzer. A five month old Mini-Schnauzer from northern Wisconsin with a background in being a dog.

Mattie represents the first non-puppet employee at besides the President. "We took a risk hiring a non-puppet." said President Tatarsky. "Numerous past employees were actually puppets that I would wear on my hands and argue with using my own fake voices for each puppet. This makes for usually a decision making process that everyone in the end agrees with my decisions. Except for that cow. That thing had a mind of its own."

Mattie the Schanuzer however appears to have a possible condition that will require careful handling. Her tongue is stuck to her nose. This condition is rare but appears to treatable with care and bacon.

We look forward to a long and prosperous period of work involving Mattie. She has been placed in charge of all internal operations and paper shredding.